getting over a guy you never even dated

Modern dating is shit and you don’t have to experienced, to know it; IT’S FUCKING EVERYWHERE. Go look at Buzzfeed or just Google this shit, there are countless articles about ‘DATING HORROR STORIES’  and etc. What I’m trying to get at is a VERY specific situation which seems rare and even worse than the outwardly shitty situations.

WHEN YOU MEET A DUDE WHO IS TRULY A GREAT HUMAN BEING and it doesn’t work out because you have to move and both of ya’ll are realistic as fuck. This obvs happened to me and why I’m writing about it for my first blog post. It’s fucked me up so much b/c I came to terms with the fact that “yeah, I could potentially never meet someone who loves/cherishes me the way I deserve to be and die alone in my future giant mansion with all my beautiful dogs.”

THEN, I met this dude from Tinder who was cool as shit, gave good oral, and someone I could potentially see myself being with… (I realize that hanging out with someone periodically in a span of two months isn’t a superb indicator of this person on a daily basis but whatever) I was moving back home for the summer and I live in the middle of the goddamn bible belt and would be far the fuck away from NY. It was hella torturous to even text with him from time to time because I would be reminded how awesome he is and how I can’t even be with him.

FAST FORWARD TWO MONTHS. I’m in FL visiting one of my besties Syddy for Labor Day Weekend. Halfway through my break here is all the information I received in this exact order:

  1. My aunt has totaled my car.
  2. My mom was in a serious car accident and was hospitalized for a spinal injury.
  3. I found out this dude was in a relationship on a facebook newsfeed.

UGH RIGHT?!?!?!? (I’ll get back to the first two things on another post since it’s kind of irrelevant to this post)

~HERE’S THE ANALOGY I USED TO DESCRIBE HIS NEW RELATIONSHIP ~                                       It’s like he’s Travis Scott and downgraded from Rihanna to Kylie Jenner… Me being Queen RiRi duhhh.                                                                                                                                 ~ANALOGY DONE~

I felt so shitty|sad|disappointed|mad|annoyed but I constantly questioned myself whether if it was even VALID for me to feel this way because we were not seriously dating… Trust me, I looked online to see if I could find answers and I couldn’t so I just made up my own damn rule.

Getting over anyone you never even dated is a thing and whoever tells you no can go fuck off and suck my metaphorical dick.

What you experience with each person is unique in its own experience and human interactions are relations; however you want to define those relations is up to you. But just realize that how you define may not be the way the other person defines it. I know this last part is mad cheesy but SHOVE THAT DOWN YO THROAT CUZ IT’S TRUE. This is one of the worst situations to be in because it is one the toughest to deal with; it’s easy when a person is a piece of literal flaming shit to move on from, but when it is someone who is such a good person and has not done you any wrong, it’s more difficult to “get over” ya know. From the bottom of my heart, I truly hope he’s happy and his Kylie becomes pregnant. HAHAH JUST KIDDING BUT YA KNOW, I HAD TO DO IT, IT WAS SO GOOD. Seriously though, he is such a great dude, he deserves the best and I’m sure the person he’s dating is amazing.

K BYEEEEEEE

4 thoughts on “getting over a guy you never even dated

  1. Love your blog! Your writing is so good and very relate-able. I’m sorry that you went through all of that at once! I know this sounds cheesy af, but you will find love again. I think that it is great that you are doing you and focusing on what you want out of life. Plus, time would have really told if he was a really amazing guy. He sounds like he was…but, chances are he really isn’t (I know, you can totally hate me), but everybody has their flaws. I think it’s pretty shitty that you had to find out through facebook that he was with someone else. If you guys were still in contact and whatnot, he should have considered your feelings and maybe told you?! And, yeah, everyone has a different take on what qualifies as a relationship, but from what you described, I would consider it one. You guys ended things amicably, (if you have to end something, then there was something there to begin with). I think that what’s happening is the ‘halo effect’ where the person-this guy-is someone that can do no wrong in your eyes. I would take him off of that pedestal and re-evaluate a few things. Would your relationship really have worked with him? Did he try to see if there would be a way to still be together even though you were leaving? Did he pursue you and make a point to initial contact and send you sweet/cute messages while you were together? Did he show an interest in what you were doing with your life? Did he encourage you? Did he tell you how lucky he was to have you in his life and how beautiful you are? I would just think about things like that. Truth is, you could be dodging a bullet and there could be a reason why it didn’t work out. Plus, everything is fun when you first meet someone, but it ends up getting stale and old. I think that you should be proud of yourself and all of the things that you are doing! You are a strong, independent woman! A man needs to fight for you, or he’s simply not worth your time!

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    1. Thank you so much! Yes, I definitely didn’t mean to put him on a pedestal so it would be good to re evaluate how that was. But it was indeed a very casual situation so I was definitely just fantasizing how things could have been. I really appreciate the insightful comment! Keep em coming!!!

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  2. My darling, I HEAR your voice, ringing LOUDLY, in my ear, with the COLORFUL EXUBERANCE & witticism, ONLY YOU can bring!
    For those, who may be getting to know you in this blog journey, your writing’s transparent, raw & provides the emotional & mental exhilaration, of our shared human experience, one finds on a rollercoaster ride.

    1. KNOW that YOU’RE VALUABLE! When you have to find out a person’s TRUTH (any relationship), via any other vehicle, besides their own verbal confirmation, you MUST EVALUATE “HOW” you CHOOSE to PERCEIVE that relationship.

    PERCEPTION is KEY!
    Perception allows you to GUARD your heart & mind & learn to KEEP IT MOVING! TOO MANY fish in the sea to be stuck on the one that got away!

    2. Going forward, UNDERSTAND CLEARLY, choosing to be physical with someone, especially BEFORE you know this type of basic information, most often, sets YOU up for failure!
    Physical SOUL TIES transfer to your spirit! Often, HIJACKING the emotional, mental & physical space, in YOUR life, it’s NOT even supposed to have ACCESS to or OCCUPY! Taking up PERMANENT residency meant for a temporary layover.
    Some things & people are NOT meant to be ATTACHED to you permanently!

    3. People PURSUE WHO & WHAT they WANT, PERIOD!
    DON’T give ANYONE that much POWER to disrupt your inner sanctuary. If you’re not their choice, POOF, BE GONE! Especially when you KNOW you’ve CARED to SHARE & SHOW-UP with the FULL experience of YOU & you weren’t prioritized & valued enough to be honest! You should be RESPECTED enough to be given the CHOICE to CHOOSE if you want to participate in someone’s life when others are involved.
    You are NOT a garbage can for others to dump their mess into!

    Just wanted to share a few gems I’ve LEARNED. YOU ARE the PRIZE!

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    1. Thank you! It is so true, all about the perception. I definitely have gotten to a point in my life where I want to be more serious and considerate about any romantic potentials entering my life.

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